What Is a Godly Man? A Biblical Guide to Biblical Manhood and What to Look for in a Husband
The question of what it means to be a man has become surprisingly difficult to answer. But it doesn’t have to be. Together, let’s discover what God’s Word says about biblical manhood and how to joyfully live according to His design.
Where Do We Find the Truth?
After coming to the Lord some years ago, many questions came up. I wanted to know the Truth. It became clear that what the world was offering simply wasn’t working. Every few months there seemed to be another cultural shift regarding identity, relationships, marriage, and even what it means to be human.
The fruit is evident. Families are broken. Divorce rates are sky-high, and people are lost and confused. There has to be another way.
Thankfully, Scripture teaches us that there is. His name is Jesus. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit created every part of humanity with wisdom and purpose. Just as a car functions best when it is used according to the manufacturer’s design, people flourish when they live according to God’s design.
As I continued my studies in college, I was exposed to a variety of cultures and left with a sense of confusion.
Defining Questions
Who determines what is right and good?
Who sets the expectations for us?
What were we created for?
Today, I have a hunger for finding the Truth in these things, understanding God’s original intent in creating us, and seeking to live it out joyfully.
In my previous post, we explored what Scripture says about biblical womanhood.
Today, we’re turning our attention to the men. I pray this post blesses you!
What is a Godly Man
Being a godly man means becoming a man of God—a man who belongs to Jesus Christ and that is being transformed in His likeness. It begins, ends, and is sustained by a relationship with Him. Remember, it is Christ that transforms. Without a relationship with Him, any change will not be lasting. These changes come from a genuine desire to submit oneself unto the Lord, to forsake the ways of the world, and to pursue things of God.
What Is God’s Design for Men?
The creation story in Genesis 1–3 tells a lot about God’s design for men. Here, we see a few key things happen:
- Man is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26)
- He has dominion over all creation (Genesis 1:26)
- He is blessed by God (Genesis 1:28)
- He is called to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28)
- He is made to “work and keep” the garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15)
- He is not to eat “of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:17)
- God makes Adam (man) a helper (Eve) (Genesis 2:18)
- God commands the man to “leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24)
- Adam and Eve sin by eating of the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:1-6)
- “Then the eyes of both were opened,” and they felt shame (Genesis 3:7)
- The curse of sin enters into humanity, and the effect of this fall are still felt today (Genesis 3:15-19)
A Story of Redemption
A lot happens here. Every human has fallen short of God’s perfect design. But, we can see that God had a perfect plan for his creation. He had a plan to redeem.
He sent His Son—Jesus—to accomplish what Adam never could. Jesus obeyed the Father perfectly, loved sacrificially, served humbly, died willingly, and rose triumphantly so that we could be reconciled to God.
Biblical manhood doesn’t begin with trying harder, getting cleaned up, or getting things together. It begins by trusting Christ.
So, although we see God’s original intent in our creation and our failure to live up to it, we see God’s endless love.
Although the initial example, Adam, failed, Christ never has.
“He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth” (1 Peter 2:22)
“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation” (Colossians 1:15)
A man’s purpose: glorify God in every area of life
How to start: believing, repenting, and submitting to Him
What Makes a Godly Man? Key Biblical Qualities
I have mentioned Elizabeth Elliot’s book, The Mark of a Man, a few times because she beautifully articulates the concept. Here are some of her takeaways from Scripture that I think will bless you, along with a mix of my own conclusions.
- A godly man has a love for Christ (Luke 10:27)
- A godly man has an obedience to God’s Word (John 14:15)
- A godly man initiates (Genesis 2:22-24)
- A godly man has a has humility (Psalm 131:1)
- A godly man has authority (1 Corinthians 11:3)
- A godly man has lives as a servant (1 Corinthians 11:3)
- A godly man demonstrates responsibility (Romans 14:12)
- A godly man imitates Christ (Ephesians 5:25; 1 Corinthians 11:1)
- A godly man leads (John 13:13–17)
- A godly man lives with integrity (Proverbs 10:9)
- A godly man works with diligence (1 Timothy 5:8; Proverbs 13:4)
- A godly man has endurance (James 1:12)
- A godly man has a respect (1 Peter 2:17)
- A godly man is tender (Ephesians 5:28)
- A godly man has courtesy (Romans 12:10)
- A godly man is willing (1 Peter 5:1-4)
How Is a Godly Man Different from the World’s Definition of Masculinity?
What it means to “be a man” to the world is forever changing. Here in America, we see a few overarching distinctions:
- Strength vs. gentleness
- Power vs. service
- Pride vs. humility
- Independence vs. dependence on God
- Success vs. faithfulness
- Personal kingdom vs. God’s Kingdom
- Worship of self vs. worship of Christ
How to Recognize a Godly Man Before Marriage
This is a loaded question, but it is quite simple when we start with God’s Word. It is our compass.
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3).
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5).
How to Find a Godly Husband
We already reviewed God’s original intent and some characteristics, now it’s time to get practical.
Some ideas:
- Trusting in God and leave the wooing to the man God wants you to have
- Allow him to lead and initiate (e.g., starting the relationship, sharing feelings, planning, etc.)
- Seek wisdom from wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14)
- Guard your heart (e.g., physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries) (Proverbs 4:23)
- Pray, and give it all to God (1 Peter 5:7)
- Observe his character over time
- Is his heart fully fixed on Christ?
- How does he treat others?
- How does he spend his time?
- Does he keep his word?
- How does he speak of others?
- Does he seek mentorship?
- How does he receive corrections?
- Does he have a godly vision?
- Are mature believers affirming his character?
When I was wrestling with these things the book Passion and Purity blessed me richly (thank you to my dear friend for recommending this) by providing practical examples to this season of life. I highly recommend it.
A Little More About About Biblical Manhood
- Godliness does not require perfection, but it does require repentance (1 John 1:6-10)
- Leadership can be demonstrated in humble ways (Matthew 23:11)
- Quietness and gentleness are some of the greatest signs of strength (Matthew 11:29; Colossians 3:12; Titus 3:2; 1 Timothy 6:11; James 1:21; 2 Timothy 2:25; Galatians 6:1; Psalm 37:11)
- Godliness does not just pertain to “spiritual things,” it pertains to all areas of life (1 Thessalonians 5:23; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
Resources to Grow in Biblical Manhood
Key passages to read:
- Genesis 1:26–28
- Genesis 2:15–25
- Genesis 3
- Mark 10:42–45
- Ephesians 5:25–33
- 1 Peter 3:7
- Psalm 1
- Galatians 5:22–25
- 1 Corinthians 16:13–14
- 1 Timothy 3:1–13
Books
- The Mark of a Man
- Family-Driven Faith
- What He Must Be
My Sermon Playlist on Youtube here
Your local church!
Final Encouragement
As I studied biblical manhood, I found myself returning time and again to Elizabeth Elliot’s The Mark of a Man. Her insights consistently pointed me back to Scripture and challenged my understanding of God’s design. While I highlighted many passages from God’s Word throughout this article, I also wanted to leave you with some of the quotations that have encouraged me.
My prayer is that they bless and challenge you as they have me.
“The true man knows when he is up against something too big for him and needs help. He is driven to the only One who knows how to love like this, and asks for help, on his knees.”
“A leader is a man who does not groan under burdens, but takes them as a matter of course, allows them, tolerates them—and with a dash of humor.”
“Leadership means service, sacrifice, help, uplifting, redemption, and a cross. Leadership is not meant to exploit, but to lift; not to exterminate, but to rescue; not to rend, but redeem; not to devour, but to carry; not for primacy, but for priority. It means, in the last analysis, obedience, service, even death, for the sake of others.”
“If a man loves a woman as Christ loved the Church, he is going to do all in his power—he is even going to give his life—to see that she is made holy. He will be tender, but he will also be true. Love is not merely a gentle touch or a pat on the head. It is a refiner’s fire. It burns to purify.”
“Christ’s willingness to be Head over the Church was a part of His submission to the Father. A man’s willingness to be the head of his wife is a matter of submission—to Christ.”
“He holds his wife up to Christ as he loves and prays for her. He makes her a sacrifice and an offering when he relinquishes force. He offers himself as well, holy and acceptable to God.”
“As Christ cherishes His own Body, His Bride—that is, us—so a man cherishes a woman: holds her dear, values her highly, and treats her tenderly.”
“It’s his business to remember what marriage represents—the heavenly union of Christ and His Bride—and to pay attention to the everyday means of living this out with the woman God gave him.”
Ultimately, every godly man—and every godly woman—is simply someone who has surrendered his or her life to Jesus Christ. Biblical manhood is not about striving or measuring up to a worldly standard. It is about being transformed by the gospel and becoming more like Christ day by day.
May we all continue to pursue Him, trusting that He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in us (Philippians 1:6).
